i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
