I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
