You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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