Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize