i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Text me some of your sweat
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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