you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
