your room smells of hookers.
And success
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
