I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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