Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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