Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
