What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize
