White coat. Heels.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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