I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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