so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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