I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
