dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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