Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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