I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
