Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
