Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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