This is not my ceiling
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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