i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
