how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
