Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
