ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
When are your genitals available?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
