please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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