I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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