Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
