ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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