dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
