Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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