Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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