They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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