omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
