Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
false alarm. still invincible.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize