Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
