Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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