hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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