I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize