Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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