I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
