the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Apparently you make a good broom.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
