glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
