fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
