So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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