Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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