So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize