I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize