Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
