She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
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Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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