It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
