Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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