i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
