Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
