I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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