Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize