HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
