I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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