I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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