it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
