I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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