i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You made out with two different species that night
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize