so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
