I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
