Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
